More Stuff I Could Do Without

• Soulless automatons that take other people’s stuff.
• Having to call my wife and say, “Can you pick me up? The car’s been stolen.”
• Waiting for thirty minutes in the cold drizzle for the crack “Community Enforcement” squad to arrive and take my statement regarding stolen car.
• Realizing crack “Community Enforcement” squad consists of one fat pseudo-cop in a pickup, weilding a clipboard.
• Insurance company phone trees.
• Repeating identical information five or six times to various people who would save everyone a lot of time if they communicated amongst themselves.
• Waiting for callbacks.
• Companies that are too cheap to install legitimate security devices, choosing instead to invest in such winning—and effective!—concepts as the “dummy camera.”
• Having to wake up a peacefully slumbering spouse to take me to train station due to aforementioned automaton’s actions.
• Train delays.
• Forgetting my iPod and having to listen to crass, exaggerated conversations from fellow train passengers about obviously fictional sexual conquests.
• A lack of ability to destroy people with my mind.
• Perpetual rain in “sunny” California.
• Rain.
• California.
• Bus drivers that leave early and abandon daily passengers.
• Bus drivers that operate their large, unweildy vehicles as though they were involved in some manner of Nascar event in an effort to compensate for previously mentioned delays.
• Fearing for my life prior to 7:30 am.
• Being late to work due to forces beyond my control.
• Lateness that causes irreparable schedule shifts resulting in missed meals.
• Realizing it’s going to be a bad day prior to 8:00 am.
• Thinking it can’t get any worse prior to 9:30 am.
• Being proven wrong.

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